I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
