ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
