No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
