we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Non-Jews are for practice
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
