This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
How's work?
Spinning.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
