I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
