if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
