i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
