At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
