I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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