oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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