Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I woke up under a house in Key West
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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