Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Did I show you my penis last night?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
