Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
