Say something about gay babies.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
