Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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