so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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