Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
