just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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