I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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