after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
