Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize