I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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