if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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