Sponge bath it is.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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