She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
