so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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