it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
