he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
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