Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
