Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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