Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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