i just had sex bonerless
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
