you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
