I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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