I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
