Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
