Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize