I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
