i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
