Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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