i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
