he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
