Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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