So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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