Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
