I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize