get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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