dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
