Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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