I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You pole danced in your parka.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
