I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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