My liver just broke up with me...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
