I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
