I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
