just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize