can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
