my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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