i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
