just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
