OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
