who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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